Let’s stop breadcrumbing.

Evergreenies, how are you this fine Monday?

Did you see this video with a purring chicken?

Stop, just cute. (I’m eagerly awaiting chickens for our acreage. It’s going to be so much fun!🥚🥚🥚)

Noncommitment was ruining my life.

My relationship with commitment is two-sided. I easily commit to what I know is right and aligns with life. My marriage, my home, and my children. Hell, I committed to doing yoga for 365 days in a row and did it. These were easy decisions. But ask me to commit to where to go out to dinner or what color to paint the kitchen, I buckle. These. These are life-changing and very difficult to make. Right?

No. No, Lyndee, they are not.

I’ve known this for years, but as anxiety, pressure, and overwhelm creep back into my life, I discover that my decision-making muscle cramps up, and I crumble to the ground.

Please, someone, just tell me what to do.

This lack of commitment has been eating away at me for the last several months. And I’ve written about it for you (thanks for listening): What do I want to do with my career?

I was afraid of making the wrong choice. Of finding myself missing out on opportunities or putting myself on the path to the guillotine again. I was making this decision a life-changing decision.

I was looking at it all wrong.

What I was really doing was not allowing myself to have the values I have been striving for. The values I wrote down a few months back. These six words describe how I want to feel in my work.

• Impactful

• Flowing

• Brave

• Appreciated

• Autonomous

• Empowered

My inability to commit to my career led to me not feeling any of these day after day. Then I started reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson.

I’ve scoffed at this book. It had to be ridiculous and a waste of time. BOY, WAS I WRONG. (get it, read it, and you’ll understand.)

In Chapter 9, "The Importance of Saying No," he hit me hard with his section on commitment.

“And what I’ve discovered is something entirely counterintuitive: that there is a freedom and liberation in commitment.” He continues, “commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy. Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.”

This whole time, my inability to make a commitment to my career was causing the frustration and confusion. Without looking inside and deciding to make a commitment on my own, I floundered.

When I stopped making this a life-changing decision but actually just a chance to hit my values, it all became a little easier.

Today is a new day. This is a new year. I have released what no longer serves me.

Are you holding onto noncommitment?

In this Psychology Today article, they discuss how noncommitment shows up in our lives:

• Breadcrumbing: Stringing someone along or keeping options open.

• Submarining: Vanishing for a long period of time, then coming back like nothing has happened.

• Orbiting: Hanging around but never making serious contact. Maybe you’re following and engaging with someone online but never make real 1:1 contact.

When we do this to others, or ourselves, we are causing real harm. It can lead to triggering self-doubt, loneliness, and grief.

I was breadcrumbing myself. It led to lots of self-doubt, loss of personal freedom, and liberation.

And as Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.“ By not making clear commitments, we are being unkind to ourselves and those we are not committing to. This world needs more kindness.

Are you holding on too tightly to noncommitment?Are you showing up half-heartedly? Are you ready to allow yourself the sense of freedom that comes from commitment?

Take it slow

Today, on a frigid Monday morning, I’m now feeling…

• Impactful - that maybe someone can relate to this and feel not so along

• Flowing - Writing and putting ideas together

• Brave - All of this. My strong back, soft front, and wild heart.

• Appreciated - By you reading this, I already feel it.

• Autonomous - I’m deciding on this email, what to write, and when to publish. It’s all on me.

• Empowered - I get to choose my commitment. Me. Just me.

It is slow but impactful. I'm not going to rush. And I hope that you find your commitment and do it justice.

One thing about three things I’m up to.

🧘 Flowing with Our Echo Flow

📚 Picking up What’s in it for them? by Joe Polish

💻 Optimizing my website for freelancing

Writing this piece about commitment was easy. Putting it out into the world is not. Thank you for allowing me the space to be brave.

I hope you find a way to be brave this week. I’m here for it.

Until next time,

Lyndee